sep 14/11
another word picture....the one within who wishes to be heard.
larger than life, lonesome, driven to communication of some sort or other, ( memoirs? ) on the downslide, longing for completion of ????, sedentary, suspicious, dancing the razor's edge between fear and excitement, expecially wary of exploring truth of the moment, suspect it's cultural, familial conditioning...not to feel, trust and/or speak, often tripped into reptilian-brain flight/fight/freeze syndrome....confuse these perceptual shifts with "everyday" life experience, prefer solitude on physical plane, enjoy communion on spiritual plane, extreme fear of intimacy on emotional plane, curiouser and curiouser, been silent (by choice) for decades, fear of "what will "THEY" ( YOU ) think/feel/decide about me ????", self-absorbed, reaching out for innocent intimate contact.
now in position to not have to answer to anyone, for any reason, retirement offers this privilege, choose to explore this freedom to the best of ability, one day at a time !
who do i think i am ???....well, that is the question ?....to speak or not to speak ???
if i was afraid of speaking candidly, frankly, without glossing over or pasteurizing this or that....well....why speak at all ? who do i think i am anyway ?
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