where were you ?

dear sweet mum 
where were you then
while the beast
was on the loose ?
it seemed when help
was needed most
you were never
there for me
you were there
yes....you were
there of course
but you really weren't
there, were you ?
as you didn't ever
offer aid or solace
for the bitter pain
of living at the mercy
of that cruel and
heartless one

he was not the same
while you were gone
he seemed to slip
his human bonds
to run rampant
with a feral vengeance
to ensure that those
about him dearly pay
for his endless days
in ancient shackles

it could be seen
behind his eyes
like some famished
creature on the prowl
seeking out it's prey
his focus somehow
oddly distant
set many miles away

he couldn't know
that which he did
while freed of
his constraints
for he was not
the master then
only just the
beast run wild

if he could have known
the terror struck
within the breast
of this helpless child
i choose to think he
would have turned
back towards his
familiar chains

i'm sure he would have
if he only could have
his heart though must
have been so stony
hard and bitter icy cold

it must have been
that way for him
while he was
but a guileless boy
i wonder if he
ever felt at home
at ease and safe

i cannot say what
his truth was then
only that today
i truly pray
for the soul
of such a sick
and troubled one
so that he may
rest in blessed peace

mum, you're not
around to answer
to these solemn words
i can't begin to dream
where you may be
but it seems
to me that still
you are not here

where were you, mum ?
were you ever
really there ?
where are you, mum ?
can you be here now ?
wherever it is
you are, mum
may your soul
rest in blessed peace

amen