post #50

post # 50....since sep 13/11

been a busy overgrown beaver....type-type-typing away !
was somewhat vague regarding intentions before embarking upon this blogging experience.

what's been accomplished to date ?
well, there's a few stories i had previously passed along here and there, the kind where folks said...."you know, you should write that shit down !"
"yeah, you're right !", i'd usually mutter, never imagining accomplishing that would actually come about.

i've explained somewhat how the time came naturally (after about 8 months of personal daily video journalling) to move away from private diary entries into what seemed like the next obvious step, a public forum.

i have been driven by the realization that many of the "horror" stories from early life needed to see the light of day, for several obvious reasons.
1)  to clean the crap out of the deep dark nether regions of my soul....hoping to be free of having to carry that baggage around any more.
2)  to bring to public awareness the attempted murders and other criminal acts committed by my father ( name not used in this context )....believing that if it wasn't me of the remaining survivors (7 siblings) to bear witness, that likely none of them ever would.
that man ought to be seen for what he was....and what he did...before society and the world !
3)  to bring to public awareness what the social conditions were like during the era of my youth, when the popular mantra was "DON'T SAY ANYTHING !!!"....or else !
4 )  to further awaken this voice, to face long-standing personal fears of speaking about those times and events.....at all....under any circumstances.
5 )  to speak for my beloved siblings, who for reasons i likely will never know, seem to collectively prefer to maintain the code of silence.
6 ) to speak perhaps for my late mother, who must have felt just like one of us, a helpless hopeless hostage, unable to do anything to change what happened behind closed doors in our family home....or at least speak about it.
7 ) someone down the line might make use of what 's been spoken here.

it's been almost 2 months since my next younger brother suffered a near fatal massive stroke.
i've previously stated that upon hearing this sad news, i soon realized, "enough procrastinatin'....time to sit down and write !"

the current news is that he's recovering well, re-learning how to walk and talk.
he's in very loving caring hands.
i send prayers and blessings in his direction....as well as thanks.
he might never know this, but i could see immediately....that could have been me....he's 2 years my junior.
there would be no more putting off relating the stories that have needed telling.

so....here we are....entry #50 !!!

thanks, bob !